Thursday, August 7, 2008

We're back!

We're back from camping and we had a blast. Connor had a great time, but it was a long couple of days for him so we've spent most of today trying to help him sleep. I can see in his eyes that he is sooooo tired, but with all of that excitement he's having trouble falling and staying asleep. We just had bathtime, a lotion massage, and a nice warm bottle, so hopefully he'll be able to stay asleep for a few good hours. I got some pretty good video, so tomorrow I'll work on figuring out how to get it on the computer and then I'll post some.

Joe asked about our experience with hospital staff, doctors, and family members in regards to leaving Connor intact. While I don't want this blog to be an anti-circumcision blog, I don't see the harm in revisiting the topic one more time to answer these questions. I have heard some real horror stories about hospitals and doctors pushing parents to circumcise or even trying to do it against the parent's wishes, but we didn't experience any of that.

Before he was born it wasn't even mentioned to me. I found this a little disturbing because that also meant my doctor wasn't making sure I knew how to care for an intact baby. But the hospital staff showed me so that eased some of my discomfort. Luckily I had already read up on it, but I'd hate to think about someone unintentionally hurting their baby because nobody told them how to care for him. My hospital doesn't do the procedure, so the only reason anyone even asked was so they could give me information on care.

At his first well baby visit when he was 2 days old, my doctor asked if we would be doing it. When I told her no, she gave me a big smile and said she was glad. She made sure we knew how to care for him and told me that since so many insurance companies (including state insurance) stopped covering it, more and more babies are being left alone and she couldn't be happier.

As for family, I got a lot of questions about our choice, and that was pretty much it. Most of the family says they would have made a different choice, but they admit that their reasons are purely social and cosmetic, and they respect our choice. I only had one problem so far, and that was with my old boss. I used to care for her son, and when she found out (through the grapevine, how lovely) that we left Connor intact, she actually cornered me in the grocery store to tell me what a horrible choice I was making. I gave her facts but she still kept telling me that I was making the wrong choice. In the end I told her that even though I didn't agree with a lot of things she did with her son, I trusted and respected her as a mother to do what she felt was right, and all I asked was that she give me the same courtesey.

I don't need people to agree with me at all. In fact, I love having people in my life who disagree with me, it makes things interesting and keeps us all learning. All I need is for people to respect my choices. Question me all you want. Test me. Ask to see my research. But at the end of the day, he's my son and I'm doing what my instincts tell me is right.


Jen said...

She cornered you?! Wow...she's got some nerve!

Joe said...

Thanks for your reply. It was interesting and encouraging especially WRT the doctors and hospital. I've heard similar stories but they seem to be decreasing in frequency. It is also my impression that many doctors are quietly happy to see the shift occurring. Despite what some in your family said perhaps seeing Connor grow happy and healthy and being intact will open their minds too. It will help break down many of the myths that perpetuate the practice. So even though you don't necessarily want to actively advocate in someways you're the most effective advocate of all, by example. :) Good Luck an Congratulations.

UAFWIFE said...

What a beautiful sleepy Baby!! They are so sweet when they sleep